Karmageddon

You know those mornings where you wake up and it feels like the world is out to get you? Yeah, today I’m having one of those mornings. Warning, there is a rant ahead.

Now, normally I like to think that I’m a pretty upbeat person but today just kicked me in the teeth before I even rolled up to work. I’ve started a month long house/cat/dog sitting gig with my coworker now temporary roomie. So that’s looking pretty cool. Sucks we don’t get to sleep in our own beds but hey, money is money right?

Now, at this place we’re looking after two cats and two dogs, one of which is a puppy. Love them all to bits but this puppy still hasn’t figured out the whole potty training bit yet which is a bit frustrating seeing that she’s nearly five months. After feeding the zoo breakfast (I forgot to include that my pup, Zo is with us too) I take them out for another pee and load them all up into my car. We have two more dogs to pick up and a stop at Tim Hortons to get some tea and some Timbits for the pups.

I get the dogs loaded and start to back out of the driveway when I smell pee. Fuck. Why? I crank myself around and see the pup laying in a huge puddle of piss. WTF. You went pee moments ago! Now you peed again and you’re laying in it? WHY PUPPY? WHY? I unroll allllll the windows and attempt to make the 15 minute drive to our next pickup without suffocating in urine stank.

Next dog get’s picked up and loaded with a bit of difficulty. Anything different sets her into a weird mood and coming face to face with two extra dogs that are all over the place leads to a tricky loading. Another 10 minute drive to our last pick up before work and the car is really reeking now. Piss and dog breath. Yum. Last dog gets loaded with ease but this one screams and barks at anything we pass on the way to work. Too early for this. After getting my much needed tea and muffin I back up to the back entrance of my work to unload my pack of puppies. As I open the back door I notice that the puppies is making those tell tale ‘Imma barf!” motions. Nononononono. Just as I reach for her she spews raw food puke all down the back of my center console of my car, down both front seats, the back panel, the dog bed she’s on, and the folded seats beside her.

Oh, my god. I hang my head in defeat. Ok. I just need to get these dogs inside, clean up the car and open up shop in under 5 minutes now. I can already hear clients pulling up to the front of the building. I unload all the dogs and as I turn around two of them take dumps inside our lunch room. I haven’t even gotten a chance to open the dog run where they poop. Joy.

I forget the poop and continue to clear out my car. Turns out the lovely raw food vomit got onto my two hoodies (Freshly washed) my lunch bag and the rest of it has seeped down onto the floor. I want to get cry at this point. I clean it up the best I can and drag the urine/vomit soaked dog bed into the daycare. The zipper that keeps the bedding in is zap strapped so I attempt to cut it with our really shitty scissors. The plastic flexes as I cut the tab and crushes the end of my middle finger. Lovely. Flipping lovely. I now have a painful blood blister on top of barf covered hands as I rip off the bed cover and toss it into the wash. At this point I’m so beyond giving up I just toss my lunch bag. No point in cleaning that. Alright, cue the next seven work hours. What’s next?

So now I’m hiding from the world and hoping I can ride this karma Armegeddon out. I wonder what in the hell I did to piss off the karma wizards. 

The beginnings of my lovely blood blister