Trying Hard

You know when you do everything in your power to make someone’s life a little easier? A little better? I like to think that I try to do that a lot. My friends and family mean a lot to me and I like to do everything I can to make them happy. This includes inconveniencing myself or fucking myself over even if it only results in the most minor convenience for them. Why do I do this? Not sure. I get a lot of joy out of making friends happy or making things easy for people despite it not always working out for me in the end.

But there are times that no matter how much I’ve done, no matter how much time or sweat I’ve put into something for someone, it just isn’t enough. Sometimes they just don't care or assume I would have done it anyway.  Or perhaps I missed something small or left out something I should have done. BAM. It fucking ruins their day and I don’t get to see them grateful for all I’ve done for them. I just get a cranky attitude and misery thrown at me. That makes me feel like shit. I’m too sensitive as it is. But after I’ve put all this time and effort for someone I would just like them to be happy, even if they didn’t realize it was me. Is that too much to ask? I feel selfish feeling that way.