I honestly don't know where to begin. I feel like 2013 has put me at odds with everything I care about. Each time to try to get back up and brush off the dust I get beat back down again despite my best efforts.
Most recently is my journey back into schooling. I felt a little unsure about it at first but now I don't even want to go. When it was first brought up out of the blue I was required to give an answer that night. Not a whole lot of time to mull things over. When first approached I asked if my boss would be sending everyone to get certified. I got a yes, but not all at once. Ok, I can deal with that. It would've been cool all to go at once but whatever, I can see the financial issue there. Today the girls and I got talking about our opportunities we could achieve with all of us certified. I was stoked. We could do lessons after daycare, work competently as a team that was all on equal ground. We could get extra cash and call ourselves Certified Trainers. Looks good on a resume right? And if we were to ever own our own daycare one day that would be a stellar thing for each of us to have.
Turns out, the offer suddenly didn't apply to everyone. What? I understand an employer can pick and chose who does what and isn't obligated to send us all but when you have a team like ours you can't pick one or two and exclude the other. What kind of team is that? How fair is that? He should have asked all of us to see who was most wanting to go if he didn't want to send all of us. Isn't our meetings we have supposed to help us communicate? This is doing nothing but driving a wedge between people and I already have things to mend. I don't need this. I outright asked. Perhaps I should have been more specific. Dropped names. I feel guilty by association. I didn't chose but had I known that there wasn't equal opportunity given to a team that works and acts like equals I would have never taken it. Thanks but no thanks.
Now I'm stuck here, two hours before my first class feeling like a dirt bag. I would happily help pay for my friends to get their certification too but the way my boss dealt with this doesn't seem right at all. I feel sick to my stomach. This is bullshit. I just want to throw my hands up and tell the world, fuck you, I give up. I obviously can't do jack shit right this year. Escape to someplace until 2014 and try my luck again.
Not everyone gets the same opportunities and it sucks; honestly it really really does.
ReplyDeleteBut the major thing here is most other people would still take the opportunity as I think you should. You didn't seek it out at the detriment to others and to be honest it's up to them to seek out their own carer paths and make the most of their opportunities.
Horrible as it is to say (and I know, I'm the same kind of person) you owe your co workers nothing. The extent of your role to them is to turn up and do your job to a competent level. Not even really well... just adequate would be fine.
You regularly go well above and beyond and in a way this is your reward for that.
I'd still take it. You never know what will happen in the future; people find other employment all the time, people fall out, move etc but YOU will still be you. This course is for you; it will benefit others at your job and your boss (certainly) but YOU will still be the one with the certificate after it wherever you go.
I know it feels like your throwing them under the bus now but if they want to take the course (say next year) that is THEIR argument with the Boss and not yours.
Gotta keep your chin up, be a little selfish (in a good way) and let 'em fight their own fights y'know. <--- N.B I also need to take this advise myself!