Getting Back Up

Today sucked in many ways but it also make me realize I'm lucky in many ways. I'm still feeling the emotions from my earlier post and my heart actually hurts. So much bullshit has gone down in the last few weeks its actually mind blowing. I feel numb lately.

Today I wanted to turn around me go home as I made my way to my first lesson for my dog training.  I wanted nothing more than to spin a U-ie and hightail it back home and go hide in the dark for a while. I have an amazing best friend who has been noting short of wonderful lately who talked me out of being silly. I had pulled over at this point and tried to shake this horrible feelings that's latched on. 

I will be happy. I didn't cause this.  I am just going with the flow and trying to do what's right.  I can't change other people and I can't change the past. I just have to keep my chin up and keep bettering myself as a person. That's what I'm going to do. 2013 has eroded me into something I don't want to be.  I'm going to take this course and add it  to the list of things that I'm going to do to help me be a better person to not only myself but to the people and dogs around me.  I want to be better. I'm going to run with this. 

My drive took me past my old stomping ground from my previous job. It was a clusterfuck to get to because hey have completely changed he roads there as they are in the middle of construction but I eventually found my way to the old warehouse.  It was a little surreal sitting out front. I spent a lot of time there thinking I was going to be stuck with such an unfulfilling job.  

I made my way to the training facility and once I got inside I got to focus on the lesson. Everything that had stressed me hours before kind off sat on the back burner. It was a one on one lesson with amber herself which was really nice. She's super personable and was easy to chat to. It was good and we spoke a ton about dog daycare. 

Upon the trip back some of the stress returned though I tried to keep it at bay. 

Corey has been a wonderful support system and I'm so lucky to have him (We talked for over an hour when i got home and he really gets me grounded when I get caught up in life's storms. Thank you.) on top of friends who have been there for me so often. I'm very grateful. A good friend even stopped by after i bailed on a menchie date due to feeling so shitty with a few things to cheer me up.